I’ve finally reached book thirteen to The Odyssey‘s 24 books. Odysseus’ tales of his ten years of travails trying to get home to Ithaca have come to an end. In book thirteen, if the title is any indication, he finally makes it back to familiar shores. The rest of the book is what happens when he gets home.

I was hoping back when I was still in the early books setting the scene in Ithaca that once Odysseus’ story got started things would pick up and I’d like the book. No such luck. The more I read, the more I think Odysseus is a big jerk. I really think it was mostly his fault that none of his crew or ships made it back home. It is his fault Poseidon cursed him in the first place. He taunted the Cyclops as he and his men were escaping. His men urged him not to, to just keep his mouth shut, but no. He told the Cyclops who he was. Turns out ol’ one-eye is Poseidon’s son and so Odysseus lands himself and his unfortunate crew in a whole heap of trouble.

Even later, when I hope he would have learned his lesson, he continues to be an arrogant SOB. Circe tells him after he returns to her island from his trip to the Underworld that he will pass by the island where the cattle of the sun are kept. She tells him not to stop there because any harm that came to the cattle would mean disaster. So the one remaining ship and its crew barely make it by Charybdis only to have six crew members end up as lunch for Scylla. Then they see the beautiful island of the sun god’s cattle and want to stop. Odysseus says no and tells them what Circe said. The crew urge him, saying they are tired and they will only stop in the harbor for a night, not even leave the ship. Even though he knows everything Circe has told him is true, he caves in, makes his men swear an oath not to touch the cattle, and drop anchor by the island.

If Odysseus had only listened to Circe. Overnight the winds turn, making it impossible for them to leave. The winds keep blowing in the wrong direction for an entire month. They use up all their rations on the ship. For some reason Odysseus has to go off into the forest and do some private praying to the gods. But instead of praying, he falls asleep. When he awakes it is, of course, too late. His starving men have killed several of the sun god’s cattle. Nothing happens. The winds shift and they think they got away with the crime. They strike anchor and head out to sea. Once they reach open water, a huge storm blows up from nowhere and the ship is sunk. Odysseus is the only one who manages to catch hold of a piece of the ship and stay afloat. Eventually he ends up on Calypso’s island where he is kept for seven years “reluctantly” sharing the goddess’s bed.

For some reason everyone thinks he is a great man and a hero. Maybe that was so on the plains of Troy, but afterwards, not so much. Now he is about to return home and do what he does best–kill people. If only Troy had won and we could be reading Hector’s story. He was a nice guy.