Are you ready for more Herodotus?
So Crazy King Cambyses dies but not before some court intrigue in which a Magian named Smerdis takes over by making everyone think he was Cambyses’ brother Smerdis. Same name, different people but for some reason it was hard for the Persians to figure out. Anyway, Cambyses, who was hanging out in Egpyt after he conquered it, knew it wasn’t his brother because he had secretly had his brother Smerdis killed many years ago after he had had a prophetic dream that Smerdis would take his throne. And of course Cambyses realizes too late that the dream was not about his brother. Oops!
So Cambyses is dead and Smerdis, the usurping Magian, is king. When some Persian noblemen figure it out, they trick their way into the palace and kill Smerdis. Then, five days later, they meet again to decide what kind of government Persia will have. Otanes makes the outrageous suggestion that they should “resign the government into the hands of the whole body of Persians.” Then the people will not have to suffer from crazy kings, usurpers, and good kings who inevitably turn bad because who wouldn’t with all that power and no one to have to answer to? At least if the people are in charge the offices of state would be exercised by lot and the people in those positions would have to “render account of their actions.”
Megabyzos says, no, no. We should have a small group of people, ourselves for instance, rule. He argues, “Nothing is more senseless or insolent than a worthless crowd” and concludes that “unrestrained popular power is by no means to be endured.”
But Dareios pipes up and says that Megabyzos is right about the “multitudes” but wrong about having a small group in power. He argues they should stick with a king. If you have an oligarchy, inevitably there will be enmities that build up between those in power because each secretly wants to be the sole person in charge. And so you end up with corruption and murder. Therefore, they should have a monarch in which the best among men holds the power.
How does one find out who the best of men is? Why you come up with a silly contest of course! The group of seven decide they will meet at dawn in a certain place and whoever’s horse neighs first it will be the new king. Of course Dareios has the clever groom who manages to fix it so Dareios’s horse neighs first. Looks like it’s not only the multitudes who are stupid.
We know that cinnamon is a tree bark, but in Herodotus’ time this apparently wasn’t common knowledge. Cinnamon came from Arabia but what, exactly it was or how it grew no one was sure, supposedly not even the Arabs. So how did the Arabs get cinnamon? Well, you see, there were large birds that carried cinnamon sticks to their nests. These nests were made of clay and stuck to the sides of mountains that no man could climb. Why the birds needed cinnamon sticks when their nests were clay, I don’t know. Maybe they used the cinnamon for brewing up some mulled cider or perhaps for air freshener.
The problem then is how to get the cinnamon sticks from the birds? The Arabs collect the limbs of their dead oxen, asses, and other beasts of burden, load them up in carts and dump them at the base of the mountain where the bird nests are. The birds swoop down and take the limbs back up to their nests. These limbs were probably rather stinky by then so it’s a good thing they had so much cinnamon in their nests to cover the smell. But the nests are not strong enough to hold the weight of the limbs and so break from the mountainside and fall down to the ground. Then the men can easily collect the cinnamon sticks from the nests. Cinnamon is such an expensive spice not only because of the work to get it from the nests, but also because of the work of cleaning off the bird poo and the rancid meat. Remember that next time you sprinkle some of that pretty brown spice on your breakfast oatmeal.
Hmmm…i know you said Herodotus, but are you absolutely SURE you didn’t mean you’ve been reading more G.K. Chesterton?
This is every bit as hilarious as yesterday’s! What a brilliant and yet confusing lesson in stupidity and cunning. And I wonder now if I will ever be able to face cinnamon again….
Somebody’s in a happy mood. But you’re right, there’s some absurd stories in there that’s fun.
Allow me to introduce to you a Chinese delicacy — bird’s nest soup — which is just bird’s spit. I kid you not: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bird%27s_nest_soup
*Off to look for cappucino sprinkled with cinnamon*
Emily, hmm, maybe Chesterton is the reincarnation of Herodotus?
Litlove, glad you enjoyed it Litlove. I will have to be sure to try and read more Herodotus this weekend so I can have more entertaining stories to post
Dark Orpheus, eeww. I thought bird’s nest soup was just the name but it’s really got bird’s nest in it. Eeww!
That debate about government almost certainly didn’t happen — Greeks carried on debates like that, but Persains didn’t. It is interesting, though, that the matter is settled by a vote (which is democratic) of these few noblemen (which is aristocratic) in favor of a monarchy.
And it is telling that Darius is chosen king because of the deception contrived by his groom. But it is also telling that when Darius’s horse neighs, there is a flash of lightning in the sky, which is understood by all as a divine endorsement of Darius’ kingship.
What great stories. And I have Herodotus on my list to read this year for the 10yrreadingplan. Now I cannot wait!!!
Don’t you just hate it when you cause a prophecy to come true by trying to avert it?
I’ll never look at cinnamon the same way again…
Well, cinnamon was one of my favourite spices – but bird poo and rancid meat – I can’t stomach that!
You are so funny! I love how you write!!!
Stefanie, you crack me up. That sounds like an awful lot of work the Arabs went through for cinnamon. And actually it’s not entirely common knowledge that cinnamon is bark (well, maybe somewhere in the very back of my mind I knew). I guess I never actually thought about it (how uncurious is that?). As long as it’s not collected in the same way today, as it was then, I’ll keep using it for my toast.
Herodotus is a great story teller, but he’s not the most reliable source for natural history. He might be the most entertaining.
Oh no, I love cinnamon – well, maybe used to now
I admit I’ve never really consider reading Herodotus but you make it all sound so fun.
I wonder how the birds cut out the inner barks. On a moment’s speculation I hold that it must have been twigs; not the kind of cinnamon guills or sticks that we have on our condiments racks. And maybe the Arabs in the desert couldn’t get hold of cinnamon, and so had to rely on the birds that somehow took to cinnamon twigs and gathered them from afar. If this is right, I’ve got to say it was a clever idea of the Arabs to use animal bones. They might have cracked the big bones into pieces of a good size for the suckers to carry easily. Hmmm. . . At this point I’m tempted to stretch the scenario to a revolving human drama, so I’d better sign off now. ^^
Oh, my, who knew Herodotus could be so entertaining! I certainly didn’t.
BCK, Herodotus is not exactly the most accurate historian. Yes, the convenient flash of lightening seals the deal for Dareios to be king. One has to wonder though if he managed to have a clever servant set that one up too
Verbivore, I think you will enjoy Herodotus very much when you get to him.
Heather, yeah, I hate when that happens. I think the main lesson in ancient Greek lit is “never try to avoid a prophecy.”
BooksPlease, sorry to ruin cinnamon for you!
Heather T, you’re so nice! I am glad you were entertained
Danielle, thanks
That is a lot of work for the cinnamon, but since they supposedly didn’t know where it grew they didn’t have a choice. I’d much rather gather cinnamon I think than be chased by giant ants!
Amateur Reader, you are right. Not a reliable source, but definitely entertaining.
Iliana, Herodotus is a lot of fun, though the really good stories tend to be spaced out by pages of tedious things like descriptions of rivers.
Gene, I’d be interested in the human drama you stretch the scenario into
Herodotus does say the birds gather sticks. I agree though, the Arabs are clever in how they figure out a way to get the nests to fall.
Dorothy, I had no idea either!
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