The regularly scheduled Emerson post was interrupted yesterday by a toilet.
It all began last week with a little seeping leak around one of the bolts that holds the toilet tank to the toilet bowl. Not a big leak by any means but something that had to be fixed. Saturday afternoon toilet innards replacement kit at hand–we decided to replace the whole inside because we were tired of making tiny repairs here and there–my Bookman starts to unscrew the leaking bolt and snap! it breaks right in half. No wonder it was leaking. When he started to unscrew the other bolt, the head of it crumbled. It crumbled just enough so there was nothing to grab onto to unscrew but not enough to pull it through the hole. Swearing ensued.
We tried having me hold the little piece that was left with needle nose pliers while my husband attempted to unscrew the bolt from beneath the tank. No go. He tried pounding on the thing to get the last bit to break. No go. He tried hack sawing it but it is a thick bolt and apparently the crumbled part was the only rotten part. I’m not sure what he did but finally, finally, he got the bolt out and the tank off only to discover that in the process he had cracked the tank.
Off to Home Depot we go with the tank to make sure what we bought was going to fit. Good thing we brought the tank because our particular brand of toilet is no longer made. So the nice plumbing man helped us find the narrowest tank he had that also matched up with the fittings. We need a narrow tank because our bathroom is about the size of an airplane bathroom and our toilet is not the standard distance from the wall. People in 1952 when the house was built obviously didn’t care about big luxury baths and must have been very small people.
So we find a tank that looks like it will work. He haul it out to the car happy that this adventure only cost us about $30. The tank had all the innards already put together, all we had to do was screw it onto the back of the toilet. We got it out of its wrappings and carefully squeezed into the bathroom with it, lowering it to the toilet back, lining up the bolt holes…it was looking good…until the wall got in the way. Everything lined up but we couldn’t set it completely in place because the tank was too wide.
Back to Home Depot to return the tank that didn’t fit. There were no other tank options. We decided that since the toilet in the basement bathroom was the same brand we would look at that one and see if maybe we could move that tank upstairs. Of course the tank in the basement was as wide as a semi. Tired and frustrated, we gave up on it for the day since we had the basement bathroom.
So Sunday, right after work, my Bookman goes straight to Home Depot with measurements. There was not much choice, but he brought home a whole new toilet. I was worried because I had heard toilets were hard to install, but an hour and a half later we had a new working toilet and it wasn’t all that hard to do even with bad directions.
I mentioned the bathroom was small? Now it is even smaller. The old toilet had a rounded bowl and we had about six inches of clearance between its front and the edge of the bathtub. Good thing my Bookman and I are actually as small as those 50s people must have been. But the new toilet has an oblong bowl and is only about 3 inches away from the tub so that one either has to adopt a straddling method or be resigned to a sideways position. We will one day have to find a different toilet, but for now we really don’t care.
The thing about all this is, we should have known. When we moved into the house nine years ago the bathroom sink faucet had a leak. Of course the faucet was as old as the house and the parts we needed to repair it did not exist. So we had to buy a whole new faucet only to discover that standard faucet fittings had changed since the 1950s. It was an ugly, cruddy sink anyway so we ended up buying a new sink and faucet just to fix a leak. And this weekend we bought a whole new toilet just to fix a little seeping leak.
I just pray that nothing ever goes wrong with the bathtub because we’d have to knock out a wall in order to remove it.
Back to books tomorrow.
oh my, that made me laugh. But good for you for putting it all together, together!
I had an incredibly clogged sink in my (old, weird, San-Francisco-Bay) apartment and was ready to do battle with the innards (since half the sink was falling apart already) but luckily I happened to remember that sometimes boiling water can solve nasty sink clogs. Two boiling kettles later, no more clog!
Thank goodness.
Oh Stefanie! What a saga! Well, Thomas Crapper, the man who promoted the flush toilet must have been an exact contemporary of Emerson, so we can consider this post just a sideways step in time…. I am impressed that the two of you managed to do all that plumbing single handed - wow - can I call you next time something busts in our bathroom?
Oh! the woes of the homeowner! I think I could have a year’s worth of blogposts just about the troubles I’ve had with home repairs. My favorite is when spouse sent me to the store to get some bolts for the door he was installing. When I arrived home, instead of a 3 foot wide opening, there was a 6 foot one. Looking at the caved-n exterior wall, I commented: Decided for a patio door?. What else can you do but laugh? (and then call the exterminator to get rid of the termites that had caused the wall collapse.) Congrats to you on getting the plumbing installed. Everything I’ve installed has ended up backwards at least once, e.g., hot & cold water reversed, upside down light switches, doors opening outward instead of inward, etc.
I have a true panic of plumbing problems… and even the tiniest leak is a personal nightmare! I admire your courage (and keep my fingers crossed I won’t have any such problem!)
What an enjoyable post! And I admire your (and your Bookman’s) can-do spirit. I’ll keep my fingers crossed about the bathtub!
Wow, does this all sound so familiar! Our house is forty years old, and the bathroom just as small. We had to replace toilets too (long story) and of course they’re larger than the old ones- so now our toilet butts up against the sink. I would never be brave enough to install the thing myself, though, I hired someone for that part!
A perfect example of why I hate home repair…and the DIY articles that make it all look so easy!
Congrats on getting through this one.
I thought you were taking a break from Emerson when I didn’t see the regular Emerson post on Monday morning (well, Monday morning over here)
I like the real reason.
(Suddenly caught with the thought of having to fix my own toilet in Dubai)
*gasp*
I shouldn’t be laughing but your first line is a classic!
I hate home repair crap. It always means going back & forth to Home Depot several times, tons of money and lots of tired souls afterwards. Anyway, glad you got that fixed and hopefully no more home repairs!
Daphne, clogged sinks, ugh, hate them! Boiling water is pretty good. I also like to go for the at home science class experiment by using baking soda and vinegar. Love the fizzing!
Litlove, LOL! Mr. Crapper and Emerson were indeed contemporaries. I wonder if they ever met? I am becoming a plumbing expert so feel free to call though I can’t make any guarantees I can do UK plumbing.
Oh Cam, that’s hilarious! Home repairs are never fun, but once over, they can make for good stories
Smithereens, don’t let the plumbing intimidate you! It turned out no to be all that hard, just more work than we bargained for.
Fiona, thanks, please do keep your fingers crossed. Me and my Bookman have the advantage of both coming from homes whose dad’s were handy. We must have inherited the handy gene
Jeane, old houses and small bathrooms do not go well in the current era of big bathroom “fixtures.” Nice to know there is someone out there who can relate.
Wil, thanks. The articles do make it look easy, don’t they? I should tell you about when we put down a ceramic tile floor sometime.
Dark Orpheus, I am glad you enjoyed the story. Repairs like these sometimes make me wonder why I don’t rent. Then I could call the building manager and make someone else fix it.
Iliana, laugh away! Your comment made me laugh: “I hate home repair crap” crap being the key word there and most appropriate
We cheered last summer when a Home Depot opened five minutes away from our house. Makes all those back and forth trips easier and quicker!
Oh, man. Why does this all sound all-too-familiar? I know it won’t last forever, but right now, it’s so nice to be living in a place where, when such things happens, the response is, “Call the trustee head.” I’m with Iliana on home repair crap.
Emily, oh yes, that must be nice being able to just call someone else to fix things like toilets. do you think if I called the trustee next time he’d come to my house?
Oh, the joys of home ownership. I live in an old house and something is always breaking or leaking. I sometimes dream of having everything new. I know I’ll never get it, but wouldn’t it be nice not to have to deal with excess water…It sounds like you two did a great job fixing the problem. I always leave this stuff up to my husband–I’m sorry to say I am a total incompetent.
Oh my God — what a mess! That’s the sort of thing that can ruin your weekend. Good for you for fixing it all yourselves. I would have run off to the coffee shop or something and let Hobgoblin deal with it, or better yet, we would have called in an expert and paid way too much money. Ugh.
You’ve inspired me to fix my damn leaky toilet problem - that I’ve been putting off for like 6 months!
Danielle, I lived somewhere once where everything was new and it was disheartening to discover how fast it ages. It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. The first two years though were heavenly.
Dorothy, we hate paying people for something we know we can do with some effort. We even installed our own gas appliances when we moved into the house. We don’t do electrical work though, we do have our limits.
tin lizzy, call is you need help!