Dear Book Folk and Fellow Book Bloggers,
My husband whom I affectionately refer to as my Bookman, respectfully requests that you cease talking about books until after my birthday in early April. You see, he is trying to surprise me and you aren’t making it easy for him. Or me. I innocently mentioned The Sister the other day, a book that Litlove is reading, and I thought he was going to have an aneurysm.
I have suggested to my Bookman before that should I ever happen to mention a book he is planning on surprising me with that he should pretend like he has never heard of it and act like it was any other book I have ever talked about. But while he can tell the most outrageous stories with a straight face and make me believe that tomorrow the sky really will be purple instead of blue because of some incursion of space gas from a passing comet mixing with sun spots and a volcanic eruption, he stinks when it comes to pretending he has never heard of a book. I have watched his face as he puts on a valiant effort to cover the fact that he already has the book hiding in his man cave (that’s what I call his computer room in the attic though he likes to call it an aerie). He could not look more found out than a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
All this makes me a bit paranoid since I can’t possibly have any idea what books are safe to talk about and what books are not. I was stricken at the thought yesterday after I posted about Script and Scribble that my Bookman already knew about it and I had just ruined his surprise. I was infinitely relieved sometime later that it was not the case.
So I am sure you understand the situation and will do everything in your power to help me out. It isn’t that long until April and there are all kinds of other subjects to talk about besides books. Maybe you have a shoe fetish you could milk for a bit. Or maybe you grow orchids and can post photos of them. Or perhaps you have been longing to write about the history of fingernail clippers and how you came to collect 467 varieties of them. Here’s your chance to break out of the book talk rut and venture into to something new for just a little while.
It is a small request. A little favor. Thanks. I knew you’d understand.
An Open Letter
16 Monday Feb 2009
LOL!
Maybe we can all switch over and only review terrible books for a few months…
“Man Cave”!!!! I love it!!!! I’m going to usurp your phrase because it’s SO relevant at my house!!!
PS – I love reading you blog!
You are so funny. How about magazine articles. Is that safe? Or… cereal boxes? Some fascinating bits of fact on those there cereal boxes.
Open Letter to the Bookman:
Wait until April to buy a surprise book for your bookwoman.
Cordially,
Sylvia
To the bookman:
if you can’t conceal you’ve heard about a particular book, maybe you can pretend to have heard about every single book Stefanie ever mentions, from the telephone book to the Oprah recommended books… it will add to the suspense!
Yours truly,
Smithereens
I think this is partially the reason my husband doesn’t buy me books. Good luck to the Bookman. It is difficult.
Oh boy, you are not going to want to read the review of The Sister that I was intending to post today or tomorrow…..
(This was hilarious btw. I’ll have to go back to writing about diaries, or else send the Bookman a mask…..)
I think Smithereens has the right idea – he should learn to look smug and confident about every single book you mention and then you’ll never know! He can say, “Oh good, I got you that one then!” whenever you mention a book
Lol, I love Smithereens’ idea, too. And like Michelle, I think my husband has given up buying me books because this happens at our house, too. He gets me book store gift certificates instead
So, how’s the weather?!
Poor Mr. Bookman. I’m sure he’ll come up with some fabulous prezzies for you!
What do you get for the person who has everything?
:):)
Just living with Stefanie is the best gift that anyone could ever wish for.
I just try to repay the favor.
I feel a challenge here and I am just going to have to top my past efforts.
Have any of you ever received a birthday card from your favorite poet? And I have to top that?????
Thanks a lot (you are a very fun bunch…of???)))
M. Hooper, oh yes, that would work unless one of the terrible books turns out to be one my Bookman thought would be good
Bex, hi and thank you! Feel free to use ‘man cave’ as your own.
Daphne, magazine articles are good as long as they don’t mention books! I think cereal boxes are pretty safe.
Sylvia, lol, patience is not one of his strengths.
Smithereens, oh dear, how you made me laugh! I think you have offered up a marvelous solution.
Michelle, I do feel sorry for him. It was much easier before I started blogging.
Litlove, just so long as you only talk about your own diaries and not ones that have been published! And he is now insisting that The Sister is not a book he planned on getting me. He’s a bad liar.
Verbivore, but you know, then it becomes a challenge for me to try and break him and get a reaction from him
Gentle Reader, gift cards would be easier but my husband has his Bookman reputation to live up to and he likes a a bookish challenge.
Iliana, lol. Weather is always a safe subject
I have no doubt he will manage to surprise me. He always does.
Ah Bookman, you are such a sweetie. I think I keep you for another year
Well why don’t you just stop talking to Bookman about books, instead of asking everyone here to stop talking books with you? Its much easier to control what one person says, right?
Perhaps… and I don’t know if this is blasphemous… but perhaps he could get you something other than a book. This would alleviate the need to avoid your favorite topic, but might land you a less desirable present.
Loved this letter!! My mom is horrible at keeping gifts secret too, whereas I can bluff with the best of them.
I could TOTALLY blog about my shoes (and other clothes) for a couple months…but somehow I think it’d end up with just me reading my blog! hehe
I have a feeling you’re going to know what you’re getting ahead of time….
No problem! Not a word about books for the next two months. It’s an easy thing …
I am also going to shamelessly steal your ‘man cave’ description – that very aptly describes my husband’s area, a room I don’t even like to enter all that much.
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