And now for something non-bookish and couple-y. Emily tagged me with this one and since I am at a loss for subject matter this evening, I thought it was a good time to do it.
What are your middle names?
Mine is Michelle and his is Howard. I never use my middle name for anything, not even my initial. My name is long enough and distinctive enough already that I need not distinguish it any further. If I ever move to Germany, however, and live in Berlin, I might need to use the M because through the magic of Googling my name I have discovered that I have at least one, possibly two evil twins there. He uses his middle initial regularly and sometimes his entire middle name. His first and last name combo is pretty common and we get random telephone calls from people looking for long lost friends and even got one once from a young girl wondering if he could be her father.
How long have you been together?
Met in October, 1989, married October 26, 1991.
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
A couple of days. He was so persistent, I couldn’t hold him off any longer.
Who asked whom out?
He asked me out. Our first date was on Halloween. Neither of us had a party to go to. We played tennis of all things. I won 3-0. He was, and remains a stinky tennis player and I don’t think we’ve played since our first date. Wait, I take that back. We played one other time but he refused to let me keep score. It’s no fun to play tennis when you don’t keep score, especially when I can’t gloat about winning afterwards.
How old are you?
I am 40 and will be 41 in April. He is 44 and will be 45 in July.
Whose siblings do you see the most? Since my sister lives in Los Angeles and his sister lives in Palmdale, CA and his brother lives in Albuquerque NM, we don’t really see much of our siblings.
Which situation is hardest on you as a couple?
Home repair projects. He gets all testosterone-y and takes charge, won’t read directions and won’t listen to me. I want to plan out every last detail before embarking on a project and question whether we should dare deviate from what the Home Depot book/Ikea instructions/other instructions say. I want to do more but don’t always have the hand size or upper body strength to be able to and I take it out on him because it is no fun just handing him nails or screws or whatever and not getting to use the power tools too.
Did you go to the same school?
Kinda sorta. He took some classes at California State University Northridge before I went there to get my undergrad and grad degrees. Neither of us attended the school at the same time.
Are you from the same home town?
Nope. He was born and raised in Woodland Hills in the San Fernando Valley and I was born and raised in El Cajon near San Diego.
Who is smarter?
He technically has a higher IQ but I am smarter. He will, of course, insist that he is smarter, but really IQ doesn’t mean anything.
Who is the most sensitive?
I am more sensitive to other people’s moods and feelings and what behavior is appropriate in certain situations. I can tell when something is going on with him before he can even articulate it. He, however, is more affected by other people than I am. I tend to let things slide off my back a little easier than he does. And if one of us is going to cry at a movie, it is usually him. But then seeing him cry makes me teary so we
both end up sniffling.
Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Seward café. Best vegan breakfasts ever. Plus it is one of those places that has atmosphere.
Where is the furthest you have travelled together as a couple?
Minnesota to London. There we learned that when we get tired and hungry we get grumpy and start snapping at each other. We also confirmed what I had always suspected, that he has no sense of direction whatsoever but he still won’t use a map. After a disastrous attempt to lead us to Dickens’ house I have never trusted him to navigate us anywhere again. Fortunately, I am very good at finding my way around unfamiliar places and have no qualms about resorting to a map.
Who has the craziest exes?
He does, hands down.
Who has the worst temper?
Neither of us has much of a temper, but I guess I lose mine more often. I don’t yell generally, instead I get snippy and then simmer in silence for a while.
Who does the most cooking?
Oh, he does. I don’t really enjoy cooking so I gladly let him do it. He is like a mad scientist in his laboratory when he cooks, though he lacks the evil laugh. I think he could give Betty Crocker a run for her money.
Who is the most stubborn?
We are pretty even, but I think I have a slight edge.
Who hogs the bed most?
He doesn’t call me a bed pig for nothing!
Who does the laundry?
I do. After he ruined a few favorite items in my wardrobe early on in our relationship I don’t let him near the washing machine.
Who’s better with the computer?
That’d be me but that has never stopped him from trying to tell me how to fix things.
Who drives when you are together?
When we had two cars it depended on whose car we were in. Now that we only have one car he drives more often. He likes to drive more than I do and for some reason he thinks he is a better driver even though I have never been in an accident and he has. But we don’t talk about that because see the questions about stubborn and temper.
Anyone else want to play?
I’ll play, this is a nice distraction from my simmering neuroses this evening…
PS: these answers are adorable.
This is just delightful! And I can’t help but feel that between the evil German twins and the home repair projects, there’s a novel waiting to be written….
How very fun!
Oh, this is a very fun glipse into your lives! I really enjoyed reading it. And I hear you about the washing machine thing – s. just recently ruined a white fleece by putting it in with my red bathrobe because he truly didn’t believe the color would run??? There is no reasoning with him on this issue.
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I’m very curious about how you dealt with the young girl who wondered if your Bookman could be her father.
Loved reading this!
Why is it that tools and anything requiring them also require upper body strength. That fact ALWAYS annoys me, and did even before I was married and had to take on the role of “tool fetcher and passer” instead of “tool user.” And one of Bob’s and my big jokes is how we almost got divorced 2 months into our marriage over trying to put together an “easy-to-assemble” stereo stand. Your Bookman and I ought to get together and do a little experimenting in the kitchen (where anyone can use the tools), because we sound so similar. You and Bob can read maps and navigate while we do so.
Daphne, thanks! Looking forward to your answers.
Litlove, oh you could be right. Home improvement projects can lead to all kinds of “accidents” especially if evil twins are involved!
Verbivore, thanks!
Courtney, glad you enjoyed that. Your fellow washed red and white together? Oh dear. I suppose afterwards you had a nice pink fleece top!
Dark Orpheus, well she called twice. The first time I talked to her and told her I was very sorry but she had the wrong person. Then she called again and my husband happened to answer the phone and talked to her. Answered her questions sympathetically and told her he was really sorry but he was not her father and wished her luck in her search. It was very sad as we suspect that her home life was probably not very good.
Iliana, thanks. Maybe you will give it a go yourself?
Emily, the whole tool thing is unfair, isn’t it? We had an easy to assemble Ikea “media” center fiasco soon after we were married. Maybe that should be a pre-marriage test for couples. If they can pass it without killing each other then their marriage will be a success. Oh yes, Bob and I will do some mapping and navigating and return to a feast prepared by you and my Bookman
This was so much fun to read! And I agree . . . there’s a great novel lurking in there.
Inkslinger, thanks! Now, if only that novel would be kind enough to write itself
I love the various ways people answer the “who’s smarter” question — it’s such a tricky one! It’s no fun to say the partner is the smarter one, and yet claiming yourself as the smarter one is risky too. Most people seem to be turning the question into a joke, which is a good way of dealing with it
Dorothy, you are right about that question. It is a delicate one, isn’t it? We all want to be the smartest one but we don’t want our partners to be offended so we take the jokey way out
As usual–I love reading your answers. These memes are so revealing!
I despise cooking. If I was actually good at it, I would like it more, but I still have to do it. Yuck. Doesn’t traveling together always bring out the best in a couple?!
I’m still laughing.:) I loved your answer to the “who’s smarter” question. I’ll have to check in here more often.