Agony: when a character you like suddenly and unexpectedly dies from senseless violence and you almost miss your train stop because you are so engrossed and you put the book away and hurry to work in great distress thinking, “no, it can’t be,” and hoping that you read it wrong or hoping that some miracle will happen or a mistake has been made and the character isn’t really dead but you can’t know for sure until your lunch break and you watch the hands of the clock tick, tick, tick and become absolutely certain that someone is messing with the space-time continuum because the four hours—four hours!—until lunch at noon seem to have taken fourteen hours and you get to the lunch room and there are people in there who want to talk to you—don’t they see your book? Don’t they understand?—and finally, finally, they leave and you open the book and DEATH is approaching your favorite character and you think this can’t be happening and then DEATH is talking to your character and you think it’s all over but then DEATH says that it isn’t your character’s time to go and all the tension you’ve felt since the morning drains away and leaves you almost giddy because he’s ok, he’s ok.
Quote of the Moment
The worst way to read, he said, is with the thought that you do not have enough time. The only way to read is in the knowledge that there is an infinite amount of time stretching ahead, and that if one wishes to taste only afew sentences per day one is free to do so.
~Gabriel Josipovivi, Moo Pak
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That’s perfect! Really, it is. The perfect definition.
You’ve captured that familiar agony very well- what was the book that inspired you?
This is hilarious!
I love it.
I think that your definition is maybe one of the very best I have ever read on the subject.
May it make its way into the next edition of The Funky Wagnalls!
Tweeted this – I love it
Beautiful!
You’ve captured it perfectly!
Ha, your definition is hilarious! Which book is it, by the way? Sounds like a Terry Pratchett.
And now I REALLY want to know what you’re reading!
I’m with LitLove…what are you reading? I do know the feeling, however, and you’ve got it down pat!
Perfect. Was this inspired by your current reading?
I experienced something like this yesterday with A Fine Balance.
I love this post!
Whoa! Perfect writing, perfect definition, perfect economy of words. One of my favorite posts ever, Stefanie. I felt like this when my favorite charatcer in the Harry Potter series faced death (in case there’s one person on the planet Earth who hasn’t read it yet, I won’t say who – but he’s the dangerous type). I’m still angry at JKR. Now you gotta tell us what you’re reading.
Wonderful. I am adding your definition to my reading dictionary! I also want to know the book.
Oh, I’m so relieved that he’s OK.
But you might now add a 2nd definition to agony: the feeling when a blogger describes an intense reading experience but fails to share the title of the book.
We really need to KNOW what the book is that you are reading…. but is part of it “ruined” because we know he’s going to be “okay”? There are so many times I am in Spin class or yoga or work and all i want to be is DONE with that activity so I an get back to my characrers. I felt that way about Edgar & Almondine…………
A definition of agony with death at the end of it, and then… A little twist.
That’s a proper short story!
Whew!
i had the same experience with a book i was reading this summer. is “he” a red herring and the character in danger really “she”??? i don’t think i breathed till i read the next chapter and was reassured.
Dear blog friends, you are all so wonderful and your comments have made my day. Hazra gets the gold star for guessing the book in question is a Terry Pratchett book. I won’t tell you the title because I don’t want to spoil anything, but if you really care to know it, cast your eyes over to the right sidebar and you will see it listed under my “In Progress” books.
I love it! I can really relate.
Perfect !
completely! This happens to me as the clock approaches the time to turn out the lights… agony! I know I have to turn out the lights and go to sleep or I will be really paying for it the next day… but what is happening??
Ooooo who is it? I need Christmas to come so I can get my hands on this book.
The cool thing is they always keep staying ahead of the curve for the creative community when it comes to software training.