For our discussion this time around the Slaves took a step away from the usual selection of a novel and chose to read a memoir, Bad Blood by Lorna Sage. While I enjoy reading a well written memoir, and this one definitely is that, I never quite know what to say about them. A person’s personal story is not quite the same as a novel so I fall into thinking things like, “wow, what a weird family guess mine isn’t as weird as I thought.”
I could recount for you Sage’s life – growing up in a small Welsh border town in a vicarage run by her philandering grandfather during WWII, a grandmother who lived in a fantasy world where she believed she was of a higher class and deserved to be catered to so never lifted a finger to clean a thing leaving all that to her daughter whose husband was away at the war. Other than being attached to her grandfather and getting some education and a love of books from him, Sage was pretty much left to run wild. The educational system was set up to train girls who were going to get married and have children and boys who were going to be manual laborers. But Sage persevered even after she became a teenage mother. She married the child’s father and together they went off to college and were saved by education. After recounting her life, what do I say about it?
I can note that Sage’s family life while growing up was all about keeping up appearances. Her grandmother was always concerned about what kids she played with even though Sage was as poor and dirty as the lower class poor and dirty kids she was warned away from. Grandfather, at first excited about his living at the vicarage soon became disillusioned by the small town especially after his affair with the nurse was discovered and Grandmother, his wife, made his life a living hell. But the two remained married and he performed his duties as vicar until he died.
Once the was is over and Sage’s father returned, they moved into a tiny council flat and gave the appearance of being a traditional family especially with the addition of a brother for Sage. Sage’s mother would buy smart suits on layaway from the consignment shop to wear for a life she didn’t have and make family dinners of pre-packaged processed meals. Sage’s father worked all the time running his own business and never really seemed part of her life even though they would make public appearances as a family. Her younger brother is not mentioned much at all.
At the conclusion of Sage’s memoir are we supposed to take away some lesson? Maybe how education is redemptive? Or a general feeling for the times? Perhaps there is no lesson to be learned at all. Perhaps it is only about understanding someone else’s truth in order to better see our own?
If you would like to see what the other Slaves thought of the book, visit the blog. And, if you want to follow along and even contribute to additional discussion, join us in the forum.
I don’t think there’s a lesson to be learned from the book, at least not any kind of life lesson. I did learn about what it was like to live in that time, though, and I enjoyed the book for that reason. I guess the lesson is partly a historical one, and then just about what it’s like to be a person who grew up in a difficult family. I think imagining what it was like to be Sage is reason enough to read the book — that in itself is an interesting exercise.
‘Sage’s mother would buy smart suits on layaway from the consignment shop’.
When I read this book, I was thinking how very British it sounded, and this sentence is lovely, Stefanie, because I feel like you translated it into American! It is tricky to know what to make of any life isn’t it? I’m still trying to figure out what to make of my own. But I guess I look for patterns and differences – what each generation makes of the legacy of the past. Well, I’ll write my review in a bit and try to figure it out!
Yes I also don’t think there’s any particular life lesson to be learned from the book. I really enjoyed it but having seen some lukewarm reactions I’m starting to question my reaction. I loved the fact that she was able to be so honest about such a difficult past and to tell it with such insight and humour. It made me think of memoir as an art form. And while I struggled a bit in the middle, I didn’t have any trouble liking her voice. She writes so well and so honestly. I had to admire that. And even though the story was quite a dark one, it was full of light moments as well and I saw her resilience coming through.
Incidentally, not sure why I can’t see the posts on the Slaves site anymore. The first third of the screen is clear but then the rest is dark and illegible. (Sorry to talk about this on your site Stefanie but you’ll understand I can’t see to comment over there.)
Dorothy, for some reason I always think there should be a lesson to learn in a memoir and I have no idea why that is, but there you go. You are right, there doesn’t have to be a lesson. She certainly live in a difficult family and it was interesting to learn about the time period she grew up in.
Litlove, heh, does anyone do layaway anymore with credit cards so easy to get? I remember my mom getting school clothes for me an my sister from Kmart on layaway when we were kids. And I still don’t know what to make of my life either. Maybe that’s why I hope that people who write memoirs have figured it out so they can sort of point the way
Pete, I enjoyed the book though I can’t say I loved it. Sage does have a nice voice and I love that it was doctor’s orders that she be allowed to stay up and read as late as she wanted. I wish a doctor had told my parents that when I was a kid! I think Blogger was down for a little while last night because when I checked in to see if others had posted anything there I couldn’t see anything on the page. It appears to be back up now though!
I had a really hard time writing about this as well–nonfiction is always difficult for me, but you hit all the high points nicely. I thought the dress buying was pretty slyly done as well and got a kick out of it as she almost seemed too shy to me to pull it off! I was pretty fascinated by her life and got wrapped up in the story she told–in general I like memoirs–you get to be a voyeur without being embarrassed by it.
I liked the book well enough but had a hard time writing much about it too. I think what made the most impact on me was her grandfather and grandmother. I just cannot imagine enduring such a life.. the blackmailing, the infidelities, etc. Then again I guess we all have things with our families that someone else probably would say the same thing about.. Why would they put up with that? You know?
Danielle, I’m glad I’m not the only one who had difficulty writing about the book. Memoir is fun in that voyeuristic way. How hard it must be though deciding what pieces to tell especially about other people.
Iliana, yes, the grandparents were very vivid characters, so much so that when they weren’t the focus anymore the book wasn’t quite as interesting. It does make you wonder why people put up with the things they do.