I am just shy of halfway through Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility and while I am enjoying it very much, it lacks a little something. I’m trying to work out what that is and I will make the attempt to remember to say something about it if I come up with a theory.
One of the things I am enjoying about the book, however, is how so very different things were then. Take, for instance, privacy. Marianne and Willoughby. Are they engaged or not? Everyone thinks so given their behavior and in spite of nothing being announced. Marianne’s family assumes there is some kind of understanding/engagement between the pair but even they are not certain. Marianne has not said a word. And the weird thing is, no one can, in good manners, ask her. Elinor is worried that there might not be an engagement, in which case, Marianne has been acting rather inappropriately. Elinor repeatedly urges their mother to speak with Marianne, but Mrs. Dashwood will not because she does not wish to intrude into Marianne’s privacy. Imagine a mother today not being willing to intrude into her 17-year-old daughter’s privacy!
On the other hand, it is fine to inquire about people from every quarter to find out what their connections are, what their income is, what sort of character they have. But then it is impertinent to remark on said information directly to the subject of the inquiry. In other words, everyone can know your business but no one will say anything to your face about it.
How different the world is today! And how different the things we think should be private. And even those a good many people are broadcasting on the internet anyway. Is it true that privacy is a thing of the past? Is my desire to have some privacy old-fahsioned? Is privacy a remnant of having a pre-internet childhood?
Did I ever go off on a tangent. Just an example of how Jane Austen still has things to say to us after all these years.
This makes me want to read Sense and Sensibility again. I am always amazed and inspired by how Jane Austen is still so relevant today.
What an interesting thing to pick up on. I think I must have been born in the wrong century because I tend to be reluctant to pry into other people’s lives, either directly or indirectly. I notice that other people don’t feel this way and are quite happy to ask about anything and everything, fully expecting answers. I figure that if someone wants me to know something they will tell me, and if I have something relevant to share I will share it. But I get the sense that most people consider it rude if you don’t readily spill the beans, and a lack of questions seems to be equated with a lack of interest. I sometimes suspect there is also an element of social combat—sizing people up, probing their weaknesses, making comparisons.
I must admit I have gotten into trouble by not inquiring sufficiently before getting involved with certain people, but on the other hand I’ve also gotten into trouble by downplaying things that turned out to be serious problems. It’s pretty easy to gloss over awkward details (e.g. Willoughby not declaring himself) in a person we are determined to like. So we can ask, but do we listen? Maybe it is better to canvas the neighbourhood before getting too attached to a person!
I’ll leave you with this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVVkwtj6Rls
I take your point completely, but do you not think that Mrs Dashwood simply wants to avoid a ‘scene’. However Marianne had reacted she would probably have had a fit of the vapours and that would never do!
Kathleen, it is amazing how a book written so long ago still brings up questions today. One reason why I love reading so much!
Sylvia, isn’t it odd in our era of too much information that sometimes we choose to not believe it? We question the source or think, well this time it will be different. In Jane’s time it seems information was more valued maybe because of its scarcity or difficulty to obtain. It is an interesting contrast I think. Thanks for the link! That was pretty funny. Now we have Google, no driver’s license or credit card required
Annie, I’m not sure Mrs. Dashwood is reluctant because she wants to avoid a scene. Early in the book it is noted that she are Marianne are of the same sensibility and feed each other’s tendencies. It think Mrs. Dashwood might be worried in the back of her mind that maybe Marianne isn’t engaged and if that is the case she doesn’t want to know so she makes up stories about why Marianne hasn’t told her anything. She trusts Marianne, rightly or wrongly, and believes that all will be revealed at the right time. Elinor would not be shy about Marianne making a scene, but even she will not ask her because it is not her place and is not proper. That’s my take on it anyway
The changing nature of / expectations around privacy are so interesting. Did you see this essay about the value of having experiences that are not shared, that are yours alone? I was intrigued by this comment on the entry:
The idea of privacy ceasing to be the default but becoming a kind of curated, treasured collection of experiences is really interesting to me. Quite the opposite of Austen’s time, for sure—although, there is also an element of anonymity now that Elinor & Marianne probably wouldn’t recognize.
Also, sheesh—did Austen ever write mother characters who were sensible, restraining influences on their daughters?
Is anything private anymore? In the era of cellphones with video and Facebook, blogs etc?
Jane Austen would be shocked by our world I think! I know some days I am shocked. And I’m all for privacy and not having to listen to when someone’s court date (or fill in any other personal drama here) is that the person speaking is not only announcing to himself but everyone else on the bus. There are no more boundaries it seems! Maybe it’s a generational thing? I enjoyed Sense and Sensibility the book, though it was one of my least favorite stories by Austen that I saw adapted into a film. Weird, that.
Some things change, but many stay the same. I still find out about people asking around about me, usually on simple things to which they could get a quick and accurate answer by asking me directly.
While you may be old-fashioned to desire your privacy, who is to say that old-fashioned is not good?
Emily, thanks for pointing me in the direction of that essay! It is an interesting development. And yeah, I know, I don’t think Austen has one sensible mother character in any of her books. I wonder why that is?
Carrie, exactly! Some of the conversations I hear on public transit make me embarrassed even if the one talking on the phone isn’t!
Danielle, Austen certainly would be surprised by our time, that’s for sure. I don’t think it is generational as I’ve heard people who are old enough to be my parents say things on their phones in public that leave me gawping.
Bikkuri, heh, you have a point, old-fashioned in this case is not necessarily a bad thing