As Dorothy mentioned in her review of Nothing to Be Frightened Of by Julian Barnes, she doesn’t think about death very often. I don’t either, there being so much about life that keeps me occupied. But between reading this book and having my dog euthanized, I’ve found myself thinking about death quite a bit lately.
The book is far from being depressing, however. In fact, I found myself smiling, or giggling frequently or at the very least, appreciating irony and Barnes’s wry wit. At the same time the book was completely serious. I don’t know how Barnes managed to do it, but he found a perfect balance in his discussion of death.
Nothing to Be Frightened Of has a quiet conversational feel to it. Barnes weaves in an out and around topics and stories, takes off on a tangent, comes back to where he was before only to follow a different lead and away we go to find it comes back again but this time things look a little different.
While the book is about death, it is also about memory and religion. Barnes describes himself as a “happy atheist” and begins the book “I don’t believe in God, but I miss Him,” a statement his philosopher brother declares “soppy.” The frame of religion plays a big part in how people view death. Barnes makes some intriguing observations and comparisons of viewpoints you’ll have to read the book to discover since I am not feeling up for starting a debate on religion. Maybe another time.
The elements of the book that touch on memory struck a chord with me. I have often thought along the same lines as Barnes:
Memory is identity. I have believed this since–oh, since I can remember. You are what you have done; what you have done is in your memory; what you remember defines who you are; when you forget your life you cease to be, even before your death.
To me, this seems even more terrible and tragic than death.
Barnes tells stories about his parents and their respective deaths. He has much to say about his older brother who insists that memory is not reliable. Barnes persists in comparing what he and his brother remember about certain events and people and often they are so wildly different you have to agree with his brother. I must say though that I really enjoyed the parts in which he talks about his brother. They seem good friends but yet there is hint of sibling rivalry and teasing running beneath it and I will wager that when they argue it can get loud.
Barnes thinks about death often, he can’t help himself he says. But in writing about death it isn’t all about him. He balances the family memoir with anecdotes about the deaths of famous writers and composers and the occasional philosopher. He gleans much from Jules Renard whose diary I read not long ago–or I should say that I read part of his diary since there are a thousand plus pages of it.
I can’t do Nothing to Be Frightened Of justice. It really is excellent reading and I highly recommend it. Don’t let the subject scare you off. It is, as I mentioned earlier, not depressing by any means. I would say it is the most enjoyable book about death I have ever read.
I recall an essay by Michael Kinsley where he referred to death as a kind of background static that when you are younger, is barely audible, coming through now and then as older relations die. As you get older, this background hum gradually becomes louder as you see people nearer to you and less obviously “old” age and die, until later in life it is a veritable roar.
I do not do the metaphor justice but found it an exceedingly apt metaphor.
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I can’t wait to read this book. I feel the same way about memory. Reliable or not, it’s my reference for my experience, and therefore defines it. I think that’s why Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia are so scary, because without memory we almost cease to be. I love that this book is “the most enjoyable book about death” that you’ve ever read–lol!
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Last year I went through a spate of books about dying and death. Like you, I found Nothing to Be Frightened Of to be the best of the bunch. A lovely, almost mocking tone imbued with sadness and fear and hope.
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Death has been on my mind a lot over the last year (my sister died), so this book interests me. I was rather wary about reading it just after my sister died but now might be OK.
The mind and memory have always fascinated me – my sister and I had very different memories of our childhood. I think memory is unreliable and very subjective. Without memory we cease to be the person we were, as I saw clearly when my mother-in-law lost her memory through dementia. She became a different person and yes it’s scary, but she was happy for a while living in the moment.
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Whether you believe in the eternal life of the soul or not (I do), death is to life as dark is to light, or happy is to sad. Without death in juxtaposition with life, life would be much less precious and less important. One thing for sure, none of us make it out of here alive. Good review! Will have to get this one from the library.
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Great review, Stefanie. I can’t say I was ever contemplating this book because of the subject but well, now at least I’ll think about it a bit more. What really makes me curious is the whole memory aspect. That is interesting as I’ve seen how people react after losing a loved one and how their memories differ. In particular in among family members.
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Daniel, I’ll have to see if I can find the Kinsley essay, it sounds good. Barnes is over 60 but insists that he has worried about death for quite a long time but his older brother rarely thinks about it. It seems it might have much to do with temperament, but I could be wrong. Check back with me in 15-20 years 😉
Gentle Reader, you and I are on the same page regarding Alzheimer’s and dementia, very scary.
Andres, you captured the book beautifully in just one sentence!
BooksPlease, You were probably wise to wait to read this book. There is only so much a person can bear to think about the subject before it becomes overwhelming. My sister and I have very different memories of our childhood too. Sometimes it is as if we aren’t even talking about the same family. I am glad to hear your mother-in-law was happy for awhile living in the moment. There is something comforting about that.
Grad, thanks. You would probably like this book because Barnes talks about death making life more precious but at the same time asks while that may be so, why can’t we live forever? He covers all the bases.
Iliana, you might like to read the book sometime because of the memory aspect. He talks about memory and the narrative impulse too. And it really is quite fascinating.
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I’m so glad you enjoyed this! I really appreciated what you said about Barnes’ tone throughout because he does manage to get it spot on. It would be so easy to write glibly or sentimentally or offensively about death, but he never ever does. And I loved those bits with his brother. They were completely compelling!
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Litlove, I was delightfully surprised by the tone of the book. I don’t know what I was expecting, just something different. I think one more really good Barnes book and I will be a fan for life and we can start a fan club with you as president 🙂
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I’m glad you liked this! He makes capturing the right tone seem so easy, but I’m sure it’s not — it can’t be easy to write an entire book about death and not have it be morbid or too dark or overly sentimental or too cliche. I liked the way he brought together so many strands and made it all seem so natural. It feels like the kind of book that just wrote itself, but I’m sure it wasn’t!
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