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I have never read an entire Rebecca Solnit book before. Oh yes, I’ve read an essay here and an essay there as they appear in magazines I read now and then. I have intended to read Field Guide to Getting Lost for ages but wouldn’t you know, as these things go, the first Solnit book I actually read cover to cover is her newest collection of essays Men Explain Things to Me. The book is slim but it packs quite a punch!
The title of the collection comes from the essay of the same name. I think I mentioned before that the essay, originally published on the internet, brought about the invention of the word Mansplaining. This word was not invented by Solnit and in a short afterward to her essay she says she doesn’t really like the word all that much because it makes a blanket assumption that men are inherently flawed this way and it allows people to laugh off the phenomenon. And what is that phenomenon exactly?
It is something that happens when a man/men and a woman/women are in conversation and the man makes the condescending assumption that he knows more than she does simply by virtue of being a man. Solnit’s essay describes a moment at a party in Aspen when a man was telling her about an important book that had just been published a few months previous. Solnit realized he was talking about her book and when she tried to engage him in discussion about the book it became clear that a) he didn’t believe that she was the author, and b) he had not read the book, only a review of the book. He remained undaunted, however, and continued to explain her book to her.
This essay sets the tone and theme for the entire collection. The essays that follow are squarely feminist and deal with issues like violence against women in general and rape specifically. She points out that while most men are not rapists nor are they violent, most all violent crime in the United States is committed by men and women aren’t generally known to rape men nor regularly commit violence against them. The onus of rape prevention is placed on women who are taught how to protect themselves and avoid dangerous situations while men are rarely talked to about not being rapists. Rape and violence against women is rarely seen as the civil rights and human rights issue that it is.
But the book is not all gloomy. There is a really wonderful essay about how feminism and the push for equality in marriage opened the door for same-sex marriage. The essay also discusses what might be one of the base fears of those who oppose same-sex marriage: it completely removes gender hierarchy from the relationship and opens up the relationship and the marriage, granting to people the freedom to define their own roles. And of course just as the feminist push for equality in marriage opened the door to the GLBT community, same-sex marriage will tip back over and affect how heterosexual couples relate to one another.
In another essay, “Pandora’s Box and the Volunteer Police Force,” Solnit talks about just how much things have changed since the feminist movement began. She also talks about revolutions and insists:
What doesn’t go back in the jar or the box are ideas. And revolutions are, most of all, made up of ideas. You can whittle away at reproductive rights, as conservatives have in most states of the union, but you can’t convince the majority of women that they should have no right to control their bodies. Practical changes follow upon changes of the heart and mind.
Something to keep in mind given the recent Hobby Lobby Supreme Court decision.
This collection also includes the marvelous essay “Woolf’s Darkness” on Virginia Woolf, which is what prompted me to buy the book to begin with. The essay was even better the second time around and I plan on doing a whole post on it because Woolf. Love her. Love what Solnit writes about her.
Men Explain Things to Me turned out to be a good little collection. Depressing at times, but enjoyable too, and ultimately uplifting. I was left with a sense of communal feeling, of not being alone, of working on big ideas and changes with women and men all around the world. The book left me feeling pretty darn good.
This I will get……one of my ex-professors has also been praising this book to the sky and she says that while the book is not “violently feminist”, it deals with the feminist perspective in a subtle hopefull way!! I will have to get this one!
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Rebecca Sol is new to me – I must look her stuff up. I would not blame a feminist writer for being pretty violently inclined because mysogyny seems so entrenched in the culture. There was an article in the Independent yesterday by Labour politician Yvette Cooper about the need to educate boys to be confident feminists in a culture that is saturated with mysogynist sexism on the internet and popular culture. That certainly is not the whole story – but I do worry about the visceral power of backlash and how to react to it.
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Ian, she’s a pretty insightful essayist and nonfiction writer. I must cheer your politician! Changing a culture is huge and never easy and there will always be backlash of some kind, but you can’t worry about it too much, just keep working for change 🙂
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cirtnecce, she is assertive but also makes the point that men are as trapped in the patriarchal system as women are and it is something we have to change together. There is a lot wrong but there are also things that are going right too. If you get the book I hope you enjoy it!
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Having been on the receiving end of many of these explanations (because I also look younger than I am and I don’t tend to boast too much about my degrees etc.), this sounds like a must-read. And grrrrr, just grrrrr….
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MarinaSofia, it is usually men who are older or perceive themselves to be older and wiser, isn’t it? Or politicians. And no matter what you say they don’t listen because they are so convinced of how right they are. So infuriating! Yeah, you’d like the essay and the book too 🙂
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I have reached the stage in life when I find those men hilarious. Those lectures don’t happen to me now because I don’t let them, but I sometimes overhear them – men pontificating about subjects that they clearly know far less about than the woman they are lecturing. I think some women have a misplaced sense of politeness or fear to damage those male egos.
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Pining, yes, when I was younger I wouldn’t say anything, would politely keep my mouth shut because I didn’t want to be rude (ha!) and I didn’t have enough confidence to be assertive. These days though, I’ll begin politely and if the guy doesn’t get it I’ll drop all pretense at politeness and give him the what-for. It gets easier the older you are I think because you care less about everyone liking you.
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I have actually been musing a lot about these issues lately, because I just finished reading Infidel which describes an entire society built around controlling women and blaming them for rape. I can’t stop thinking about it.
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Jeane, it is something that is hard to not think about especially for women, don’t you think? The scary part is that even though western culture isn’t as extreme as in Infidel, there are still plenty of similar elements at work aimed at controlling women and sometimes we don;t even notice, and worse, are in complete agreement with it.
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It’s funny how sometimes we chart the path into an author’s work carefully and deliberately and then end up falling into quite another book entirely, but it sounds like a very satisfying tumble indeed in this case. I’m adding this to my list for sure, thanks!
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buriedinprint, it is funny how that works out! Yes, this was a very satisfying tumble that if anything, has made me want to read more of her work.
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I’m always on the look out for good essay collections. This one sounds as though it might have me jumping up and down and saying rude words that The Bears really shouldn’t be allowed to hear but ignoring the things that get us riled isn’t going to make them go away.
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Alex, yes, guaranteed to make you at the very least grind your teeth and swear to shock the Bears. But it is also inspiring and hopeful too and thought-provoking too.
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This sounds really good–I hadn’t thought of some of the things you mention (though how totally true) as they are so ingrained on us. It often falls on to the woman to think about these things and stay safe from them when little is done to teach young men not to do these things. I have a couple of Solnit’s books and will get around to them eventually….
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I’ve been wanting to read this. I remember reading the essay when it first came out; I’d never heard the term “mansplaining” before! I try not to overuse it — like Solnit, I have issues with the implication that it’s an inherent flaw of all men — but it’s damn useful sometimes. 😀
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