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Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay has been popping up all over the place it seems these last several months and now I have finished it I understand why. Since I read Laurie Penny’s book just before picking this one up I can’t help but make a few comparisons. Both are essay collections but where Penny focuses on gender and patriarchy, Gay is more wide ranging with essays on competitive Scrabble, teaching, race, gender, books and movies. Penny is pissed off and doesn’t give a rat’s ass if she offends anyone. Gay is more measured, moderate, questioning and even funny. Both women have been raped. Penny almost died from anorexia. Gay struggles with being overweight. Both understand that feminism is a bigger issue than women having equal opportunity to make money. Gay refers to this as feminist essentialism and it is why she calls herself a bad feminist.
Feminist essentialism is what second wave feminism from the seventies got boxed into — humorless, militant, pornography-hating, hairy-legged, no make-up allowed women with unwavering principles and if you waver, you’re not a real feminist and you’re kicked out of the club. Second wave feminists also had a hard time addressing racial issues as well as heteronormativity. All this morphed into the kind of feminism Elizabeth Wurtzel writes about in a 2012 Atlantic article in which “real feminists earn a living, have money and means of their own.” And later that same year in a Harper’s Bazaar article she added that real feminists also work hard to be beautiful and would never “misrepresent the cause by appearing less than hale and happy.” If that’s what feminism is, no wonder Gay calls herself a bad feminist. I’m bad too!
Gay admits to being a bundle of contradictions. She often finds herself singing along happily to songs that are blatantly misogynist but the tune is so catchy she just can’t help herself. She dates men she knows are not good for her and she has, and probably will again, fake an orgasm because it is easier than taking the time and effort to get what she wants from a man who she is sure she will never have sex with again. She really likes to watch bad reality television.
Feminism is not perfect, she says, but that doesn’t mean it is not worthwhile. We forget that feminism is powered by people and people are flawed and
[f]or whatever reason, we hold feminism to an unreasonable standard where the movement must be everything we want and must always make the best choices. When feminism falls short of our expectations, we decide the problem is with feminism rather than with the flawed people who act in the name of the movement.
Gay’s favorite definition of feminism was offered by an Australian woman named Su in 1996:
feminists are ‘just women who don’t want to be treated like shit.’
Gay has a fantastic essay, “Peculiar Benefits,” about privilege. Most of us who live in western industrialized countries have privilege of one kind or another. I’m white, middle-class, educated, able-bodied, and in a heterosexual relationship that allows me to be married (Minnesota allows same-sex marriage — yay! — but that didn’t happen until 2013). I probably have other privileges I haven’t even thought about. They are nothing to be ashamed of. They are to be recognized and acknowledged for what they are. I know there are people in my city and all over the world who don’t have half the privileges I do. I don’t have to do anything about it, but I try to in my own imperfect way. As Gay says,
You need to understand the extent of your privilege, the consequences of your privilege, and remain aware that people who are different from you move through and experience the world in ways you might never know anything about. …You could, however, use that privilege for the greater good — try to level the playing field for everyone, to work for social justice, to bring attention to how those without certain privileges are disenfranchised. We’ve seen what the hoarding of privilege has done, and the results are shameful.
I could go on and on about how wonderful this book is. Gay’s writing on rape culture is excellent and her essay on trigger warnings, “The Illusion of Safety/The Safety of Illusion,” is a thoughtful discussion on the topic. Her examination of racism, especially in books, film and television, is also fantastic.
I read an interview with Gay recently (sorry, I don’t remember where!) in which she expressed her surprise that Bad Feminist is doing so well. This is her first foray into nonfiction, she considers herself a novelist, and this book was outside her comfort zone. I’m glad she wrote it and I hope there will be others. If you’ve not had a chance to read the book yet and are wondering if you should, yes, definitely give it a go.
Bad Feminist was one of my absolute favorite books of last year. She’s got another book of essays in the works, based on the blog posts she does where she combines a recipe with a meditation on some weighty topic, and I am really looking forward to that one. Those posts are some of the best writing on the internet, if you ask me.
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Tungsten Hippo, it really is a good book and I am so happy that there have been a number of really good feminist books being published lately. I am glad to hear Gay has another book of essays in the works!
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I just checked this out from the library yesterday so your review is perfectly timed to get me pumped to start reading. Really, really looking forward to this.
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Claire, excellent! I hope you enjoy the book! I’ll be on the lookout for you thoughts on it 🙂
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You need to add a Pin button on your blog so i can pin all the amazing books you recommend! Okay, enough about me – absolutely wonderful review. Feminism is something I’ve been thinking about more and more and wanting to start writing about. Both books seem like wonderful places to start.
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In this particular case, I can help you- I pin the short ebooks and collections I recommend on my site, and I recommended Bad Feminist. Here’s the pin:
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Thanks for the assist!
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Courtney, ah! Since I don;t use Pinterest much I have never thought of adding the pin it button. But I will take that into consideration and investigate how to set that up. Glad you enjoyed the review and I hope you like the book! I look forward to hearing more about your reading and writing on the topic of feminism!
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I have heard a lot about this book and it’s in my TBR!! Your review put it up with “must read NOW” label….I agree with you….I am very much the of “bad feminist” brand!! But just because I take care of my appearances and have a job, does not mean that I am not aware that ‘equal opportunities” is still more of a lip service. violence against women is on the rise and we have to stand up for our rights!! The fact that i am not “militant tendency” about it does not mean I feel any less passionate about it! Must read this one!!
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cirtnecce is right than anti women violence is on the up and feminism faces huge challenges from backlash politics. This book sounds really interesting and I’m glad it has been such a success.
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Ian, the escalation in violence against women around the world is alarming. And almost as alarming is the number of people who still have attitudes that blame women for “getting themselves raped” or killed or say well she must have done something to deserve it. It’s pretty scary. I’m really glad this book is such a success too.
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I agree…we are constantly being told that women get raped because “they invite it on themselves” – that’s the most ridiculous argument if there ever was one.Many of the countries, especially in the Third World are yet to even enact laws against causes like Martial Rape. Many countries still have laws where the onus is on the rape survivor to prove that she has been raped versus the accused who should ideally have to prove his innocence. It is not only concerning but disturbing that while we seem to have gone a thousand steps ahead in terms of “women’s rights”, we as a society seemed to be going back in time, in terms of basic human rights like human security! I am so glad there are women and all kinds of women not just “A type” who are raising there voices and this book seems like a good start!
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cirtnecce, and even in places like the US where there are laws, rapes go unreported because of women don’t believe that they will get justice. And a lot of times when they do get reported, especially if the rapist was a young man, the press moans about how his life has been damaged and his bright future dimmed and gives no attention to the fact that he committed a crime and the woman has been damaged in all kinds of ways she will never recover from. It’s infuriating! I agree with you that it seems we are going backwards in time. But books like this are definitely are good start at reversing the trend.
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cirtnecce, yay for bad feminists! 🙂 I hope you like the book when you read it!
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This does sound great – but I would like to wave a flag for the French feminists of the 70s and 80s who used to get a bad press from the Americans but who were deeply into exploring power dynamics in all sorts of ways and really didn’t buy into that rather constrained ideology. They were bonkers in their own way, bless them, but they were saying very different things, many of which were worth paying attention to. I love both France and America and do wish the feminists would work together across the boundaries, as they both have important things to say and might actually be unstoppable when combined. Anyhoo, this sounds great and something I’d also love to read (I told you I was given the Penney for Christmas, yes?).
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Litlove, oh those crazy French feminists! The animosity between the US and France always surprises me. Both have interesting perspectives and important things to say and it’s too bad they couldn’t listen to each other. It is interesting how we all understand that feminism is a global effort yet it is so very hard to cross those boundaries and work together though not impossible because it has and does happen. I suspect you would like this book even though it does tend to be very American in its focus. You did tell me got Penny for Christmas. I am really looking forward to finding out what you think about the book!
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Owning up to being another Bad Feminist. I never “work hard to be beautiful” but if some feminists wish to do so, then that’s their decision. I like to think though that they think about what they are doing and why they are doing it. Anyhow, I’m currently reading a book which I hope to review soon that will add to this conversation I think. I have about 20% of it to go and find myself pondering what she is saying quite a lot.
Oh, and I rather hate seeing 70s feminists get a bad rap. They had their (we had our) faults (I say “we” because I aligned a lot with them though I didn’t take formal part in the movement) but like any movement, it was also a matter of how you responded to it and what you took away from it. They weren’t all aggressive, manhating people but they did need to show a certain amount of anger and “front” to get the advancements they got. I think it’s too easy to say “I’m not a feminist” because I don’t agree with … as Aussie Su (whoever she is) you ARE a feminist (whether you call yourself one or not) if you believe women shouldn’t be treated “like shit” (and all that that means.)
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whisperinggums, seems like we could start a bad feminist group though of course the culture at large would totally misinterpret what it means. I am intrigued about what book you are reading! Looking forward to finding out more!
I really appreciate what the 70s feminists did. They were and are amazing women. I suspect much of their bad rap is due to how the media and the larger culture has framed them and the movement. They latch on to people like Andrea Dworkin and anti-pornography and all sex is rape as long as there is a power differential and it just spirals out from there. Heck, most people still believe that there were regular bra-burning demonstrations! The backlash hit hard here in the US and I think we are just now starting to find a way to fight back against it.
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Yes, I think you are right re the media. Frustrating because my understanding is, more from reading in the 1980s that there were mixed opinions about this like pornography, and so on, but it is all being/was characterised so narrowly. And who runs the media? What’s in it for them to present a reasoned discussion of the movement? If people would just think, and get back to first principles ie that women, that all human beings in fact, are equal, not the same, but equal in their rights, the. They might see what feminism really about.
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If only people would think about first principles! But you know there are so many things that make that hard to do for so many people. And of course we are always battling the status quo which is a very hard thing to change whether it’s feminism or racism or a gazillion other isms.
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Very true … And when you look back you see things have changed, but it’s so much sower than we’d like. Agree that so many things get in the way of getting back to first principles … Unfortunately some are laziness and vested interests. Education is so important here … Teaching people how to think rather than believing uncritically what we read and hear.
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Critical thinking, the most important part of a good education and the one thing so many politicians with their revisions of school standards toss out the window.
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The Gay book sounds really good–maybe a little more even handed than the Penny? I hate to say I am not at all well read when it comes to women’s history books so I should really go back and look for a few ‘classics’ to lay a foundation, but I do love hearing about these more recent books and seeing what the more pressing issues are right now–from the sounds of it maybe not so different than those of before. Sadly.
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Danielle, I wouldn’t say even handed, more moderate is a good description since Gay and Penny talk about many of the same things but Gay doesn’t call for a revolution like Penny does. Yes, sadly, most of the issues are still the same ones feminists in the 70s and 80s were struggling against. What I really like about these more recent books is the recognition of how a patriarchal system affects everybody and the analysis and solutions are so much bigger than equal rights for women.
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I’m glad to hear you liked this book so much, as I have it on my TBR pile and am looking forward to getting to it one day. She has another nonfiction book coming out at some point in the not too distant future that’s about food and … life? Or it involves food writing in some way. It should be interesting!
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It was different than I expected but I did like it very much. I will be interested to hear what you think of it when you get to it. I did hear she has another book coming out but I hadn’t heard what it will be about. Sounds like it will be interesting!
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What a great review – thank you! I’ve really been trying to articulate what I mean by saying I’m a feminist recently, and how I fit in to the movement. So this is amazing, and will be my new mantra – feminists are ‘just women who don’t want to be treated like shit.’ And I will definitely give Gay’s book a go. Very much enjoying discovering your blog for the first time, too.
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