Some sad news. A little over a week ago we had to say goodbye to Dickens. He was much improved after his diabetes diagnosis ten days earlier, but still not back to his old self. Then on Thursday (March 26th) he had another episode like the one that sent us to the vet before. He was not all there, wandered the house in right-turning circles until he would bump into something. He wouldn’t stop wandering. Thursday night the only way we could get him to settle down was to hold him and pet him. Then he would relax and fall asleep for an hour or two. James and I took turns holding him all night Thursday.
Friday morning he was no better. We got him to the vet as soon as they opened. His blood sugar and blood pressure were just fine. The vet was stumped. We brought him home. Dickens kept wandering the house in circles, getting stuck behind doors, under bookcases and behind the refrigerator.
James called the vet and asked for more suggestions. We ended up having an ultrasound done of his heart in case there was a blood clot. His heart turned out to be fine, but in the process of the examination, they found a tumor on his bladder. Given Dickens was not improving and was not all there, the vet suggested there were likely more tumors in other places. They could do more tests.
We saw no reason to put Dickens through more tests that would only confirm there was nothing we could do to help him be well again. So we decided to euthanize him. We were not allowed inside the clinic. They took him inside, put a long IV tube in his leg, then brought him out to us. We wrapped him up in a towel and held him and petted him and said our goodbyes. The vet injected the chemicals into the IV tube. Dickens died quickly and quietly.
They let us bring him home. Waldo got to see him. We wrapped Dickens up and buried him in the garden with one of his favorite toys. This summer he will have beans and flowers growing over him while we decide whether we want to put in something more permanent. We are very sad and miss him greatly. We see him around the house. Waldo misses his playmate, but as a result, he is interested in playing with us now. He will instigate games of chase that we are all enjoying. Waldo has always been very jealous and would bully Dickens when he thought Dickens was getting more attention so he is not minding very much being an only cat. Of course both James and I are home all the time because of the stay at home order. When the day comes and we both go back to work, there will be an adjustment, I think.
As we adjust to a new household dynamic, spring has definitely arrived weeks earlier than normal. The trees are budding, the scilla, tulips, and daffodils are sending up their leaves and will soon have blooms. The rhubarb is coming up. The perennial onions are green and ready to harvest. The Dashwoods have gotten to be out all day, roaming the garden, scratching, eating weed seeds, turning the soil, fertilizing.
I started some seeds indoors Equinox weekend, marigolds, purple cabbage, kale, and ground cherries. Everything is up and growing strong expect for the ground cherries. I didn’t put a heating pad under the sprouting tray so I am guessing that is why the ground cherries have not sprouted yet. They are warm soil plants in the same family as tomatoes. Hopefully they will be up soon, if not, that’s ok.
On Saturday (4th) I had a birthday! The original plan of going out to a museum or the ballet and dinner of course did not happen. But that did not keep me from having a fantastic day! I got cards, and phone calls and texts and Facebook messages. I had a great Zwift workout and long ride (indoors on the bike trainer). James made brunch to rival our favorite breakfast at our favorite cafe. And he made a cake of my favorite things: chocolate, peanut butter, and bananas. The day was sunny and warmish so we put on light jackets and went for a walk. This is something that rarely happens on my birthday, it’s usually cold, windy, and sometimes snowing. We worked on a jigsaw puzzle, watched a Monty Don garden show, listened to an audiobook of Octavia Butler’s Kindred while James crocheted and I knitted. We are both healthy. A very good day.
Today I attended my first online writing class. Emergence Magazine, a nature writing magazine, is doing a free online nature writing course. There were over 300 people in zoom class from all over the world. We broke out into small groups of 8-10 to share what we had written for the writing prompt homework we had been given before class. It was as awkward and any in-person writing class I have ever been in. But also, there was a kindness and generosity in my little group too. We are all sheltering at home and it was really nice to meet new people. The writing prompt was wide open and so we were all surprised and delighted that we all ended up writing about trees. We are hoping we will all get to be in the same group for the next meeting in two weeks so we can get to know each other better.
These are challenging times and I hope everyone is managing. Stay home, stay safe, and take care.
Goodbyes and Hellos
05 Sunday Apr 2020
in
So sorry to hear about Dickens. I love animals. It is so difficult to lose them. But the time comes when one must do what is right.
Take care and stay healthy.
LikeLike
Thank Brian Joseph! We know our companion animals will not likely outlive us, but it never makes it any easier. I hope you are safe and well!
LikeLike
Oh Stefanie. I’m so sorry about Dickens. It’s the absolute hardest things I’ve ever had to do, to make that decision for our two cats, Gus and Cleo. But it really is the best thing, even though it breaks our hearts. My deepest sympathy.
But I’m glad that you were able to have a good birthday! Happy birthday. Simple pleasures mean so much these days, I am finding.
LikeLike
Thank you Laila! It is always a hard decision to make even when you know it is the best decision. But yes, the birthday was good and oh so tasty. Simple pleasures are the best!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh Stefanie. I’m so sad to hear about Dickens. I am certain he knew he was loved by all of you, and now he’s not bumping into any more furniture! It’s sad to say goodbye but it sounds like you did the best choice. (((Stefanie and James))
LikeLike
Thanks Liz! I imagine you are probably still missing Cowboy. They are so good at filling up our hearts!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Condolences. It’s hard to lose a cat, and I imagine that it’s especially hard during a time that’s already a bit challenging, emotionally. Glad you had a good birthday. I had planned to see our son right before and after his birthday but ended up being glad we had a chance to at least send him a package that he could open on the day.
LikeLike
Thank you Jeanne. Yeah, we had a moment of “why does it have to be now?” but it is never a good time. And thank you, I am still enjoying leftover birthday cake, one of the perks of only having two people in the house. Sorry you didn’t get to see your son for his birthday but I am glad he got a care package. I hope you and all the family are doing well!
LikeLike
The last days with Dickens must have been very difficult. Humans can tell yiu what’s wrong but an animal can show only signs of distress so yiu don’t know what to do. It was hard to make that decision but a very kind one.
Glad to hear you are still very active . Your writing class is a interesting use of Zoom that I’ve not come across before. How can you do a breakout group when you are all still connected in the same call?
LikeLike
Thank you BookerTalk. The night taking turns holding him was hard and exhausting but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I am glad we were able to give him the comfort and love he needed.
Heh, if I weren’t active doing all sorts of things right now I think I would be going a bit stir crazy! Zoom lets a meeting host set up virtual breakout rooms for small groups while also still being on the main call. The host can even visit the various groups. It’s really a neat feature and worked really well.
LikeLike
Thanks Stephanie, I will pass on that insight re Zoom to a friend of mine who runs a writing group and is trying to maintain it on line and to her husband who is planning to do play rehearsals via Zoom.
LikeLike
Sure thing! Good luck to your friends!
LikeLike
All I can say is that I sympathize. I’m impressed that your vet clinic went to such lengths to make sure that you were with Dickens when he died. I know he had a wonderful life with you.
After the last of our 7 cats died, I vowed we’d never adopt another, yet here we are with Denali!
BTW, happy birthday!
LikeLike
Thanks Joan! Yeah, the vet clinic came through for us. We’ve been not completely happy with them for the last year or so, but I am grateful they figured out a way for us to be with Dickens. Heh, yeah, I know how that vow goes!
Thanks for the birthday wishes!
LikeLike
I’m so sad to hear this, it’s always so hard. I’m glad you were able to be with him. I’m also glad to hear that the chickens are helping you prep for gardening! And that you had a great birthday regardless of the state of things! Peace and love to you and James.
LikeLike
Thank you Daphne. We are glad we were able to be with him too. The chickens are gardening helpers extraordinaire! Though perennials are starting to come up now so we are going to have to cover up all the sprouting things or ban the Dashwoods to the chicken garden. Yes, I had a great birthday in spite of everything! I hope you and Keith and all your critters are well! I need photos of your garden and to hear about all your big plans! 😀
LikeLike
I’m so sorry to hear about Dickens. These decisions are never easy. I’m glad the vet found a way for you to hold him as he passed.
It’s been really interesting to see how different organizations are finding ways to provide virtual classes, socializing, etc. My local bookstore is doing lots of virtual writing classes with notable authors (Susan Choi, Jenny Offill) and weekly book chats. I haven’t been to any of their events, but some of these are tempting.
LikeLike
Thank you Teresa! We are really glad Dickens didn’t have to die with strangers. That would have broken my heart even more.
It is fascinating how many virtual gatherings are popping up and most of them are free. Sound like your local bookstore has some great offerings. I think you need to give into temptation and try at least one or two 🙂
LikeLike
I’m so sorry to hear of your sad news about Dickens. I hope you can console yourself by remembering that he had a wonderful life with you both – he feel on his paws there. Happy birthday, at least you can look forward to a delayed celebration – when this is all over with.
LikeLike
Thanks Katrina! Missing him mightily but grateful for the time he spent with us. And thanks for the birthday wishes!
LikeLike
Oh hon, I’m so sorry about Dickens. What a terrible loss, particularly in this time when everything’s already so hard. I hope y’all are being so kind and gentle with yourselves right now. ❤
LikeLike
Thank you Jenny. We are being kind to ourselves and Waldo is doing a great job at taking turns between our laps. We are doing ok. ❤
LikeLike
What sadness. I’m so very sorry. I’ve been through nights like that and I know how hard that is. (And on a practical level, how exhausting.) I’m glad that you have some to peace with your decision and that the vet was as understanding as they were. We lost one of our regular visitors last November and that was hard too, but, as you’ve describe with Waldo, our other regular visitor has developed new connections that wouldn’t have been possible if she wasn’t on her own now, so one must acknowledge the happy changes alongside the sad ones. Sending you warm wishes as you continue to adjust. Isn’t it fortunate in some ways that you are both able to be home with Waldo now, so that the lonelinesses you’re all experiencing can be mitigated a little.
LikeLike
Thanks Marcie! Sorry to hear you lost one of yours too not long ago. It is always sad, but as you say, we have to acknowledge the happy changes too. I think the day we don’t have to work from home any longer is going to be hard for all of us. Waldo always greeted me at the door when I came home before so I imagine he will be even happier to see me 🙂 Take care and stay well!
LikeLike
I’m so, so sorry to hear about Dickens! Although how lovely that he’ll be resting in your garden where there is beauty around. Sending you a big virtual hug and also a very belated happy birthday.
LikeLike